Well folks if you've read all the expert opinions and predictions and you are combing through the bottom of the internet for any "insightful analysis" without metrics or those geeky numbers those stat dorks live by then this is the article for you.
Now you may say "Mr.Censored what can I expect this season?"
Well fret no longer because here it is and here is what WILL happen......maybe.
1. The Braves will be involved in 2 benches clearing brawls and both will involve the Marlins. (Spoiler Brian McCann and Jose Urena will be the main parties involved).
2. Luke Jackson will still be on the team after June 1st despite being the worst relief pitcher. (He's like Herpes you can never get rid of him).
3. Max Fried will be our best pitcher and will be an All-star (this season in fact).
4. Ronald Acuna Jr will hit 35 HRs and get 110 RBIs and win the NL MVP.
5. Nick Markakis will regress and have less than 7 HRs and hit under .275
6. Swanson will be our number 2 hitter by the end of the season. He will be our most improved player.
7. Our closer of the future is not on this team (25 mans roster) right now. A very vague prediction because I could mean the end of the season or 50 years from now but it is the case for both.
8. The Cubs will miss the playoffs
9. The Red Sox will barely make the playoffs as the 2nd wild card.
10. The Mets will finish 10 games under .500.
11. The Padres will make the playoffs
12. The Phillies will not and Gabe Kapler will be fired midseason.
13. The Tigers will have the worst record in baseball
14. The Yankees will have the best record.
15. Alex Jackson will become part of our permanent battery before August 30th. And will be our primary catcher for 2020.
16. No fans will die at our stadium this season. (God I hope I'm right.)
17. AL east champs: New York Yankees
18. AL central champs: Cleveland Indians (by default)
19. AL West champs: Houston Astros
20. AL #1 wildcard: Tampa Bay Rays
21. AL #2 wildcard: I already said it Red Sox
22. NL East champs: The Nationa....psyche Its the Braves
23. NL central champs: The Cardinals
24. NL west champs: The Dodgers.....again
25. NL #1 wildcard: The Nationals
26. NL #2 wildcard: The Padres
27. NL champs: St. Louis Cardinals
28. AL champs: NY Yankees
29. World Series champs: The damn Yankees
30. NL MVP: pay attention you already know
31. AL MVP: Alex Bregman
32. NL CY Young: Clayton Kershaw
33. AL CY Young: Gerrit Cole
34. NL ROY: Kyle Wright
35. AL ROY: Vlad Jr.
36. The Braves will have 4 gold glove winners with Ender, Ozzie, Dansby and Freddie
37. You will question the decisions you have made in your life such after reading my post all the way through. But at the end of the day it will make you a better person "I predict it".
