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Braves announce September callups

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lol Jose Constanza

Rob Foldy

The Atlanta Braves have announced that they will add five players to their major league roster when rosters expand in September. The relevant tweet from the team's twitter account:

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Juan Jaime, Chasen Shreve, Jose Constanza and Joey Terdoslavich will join the team on Monday. Christian Bethancourt will arrive on Tuesday.</p>&mdash; Atlanta Braves (@Braves) <a href="https://twitter.com/Braves/statuses/506266352739713024">September 1, 2014</a></blockquote>

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Joey Terdoslavich is a no brainer who may be able to provide some desperately needed power off the Braves bench down the stretch. Similarly, Christian Bethancourt can help the team with his MLB ready defense at the catcher position. Juan Jaime and Chasen Shreve will boost the Braves bullpen and are better options for high leverage situations than some guys already in the pen (hello Luis Avilan). Then of course there is Jose Constanza. Sure Constanza can't get on base, play defense, hit for power, steal bases at a high rate, has no upside and is possibly the worst player on any MLB team's 40 man roster but none of that matters when measured against the absurd levels of #vrooooom he brings to the team.

Constanza is an especially perplexing choice since he is apparently being called up instead of Todd Cunningham. Cunningham is a similar type of player to Constanza except he is better than Constanza at literally everything and has upside. Not enough bat licking though I suppose.

Overall these callups provide the Braves with some useful options that could help get the Braves into the playoffs. Be prepared for Constanza to lead the team in at bats off the bench and start multiple games in centerfield since he is clearly blackmailing the team with some secrets so explosive they could bring the whole franchise down if he isn't given an annual chance to be completely useless in Atlanta.