This joke has been around for a little bit, probably when people found out that our 69-year old manager indeed had an iPhone of his own. All the guy was doing was addressing some job security issues, but leave it to the internet to zero in on the simple facet of the article that Bobby Cox, he of the old-minded, no video games and loud music in my clubhouse, (Pujols) dammit, most certainly had his own Apple iPhone.
And since the advent of the iPhone has ushered in this new generation of homemade, and professionally made applications so cleverly labeled as "apps," there's been an app for virtually everything. You name it, from finding the cheapest gas, finding the cleanest bathrooms, to where you can make reservations at restaurants, and if you're a super-nerd, have a lightsaber app that makes sounds from the popular Star Wars weapon of choice.
But here's an app most of you probably weren't quite aware of - Bobby Cox's secret BULLPEN MANAGER app. Sure, based on the last few seasons, it certainly looks like he's managing the bullpen like his usual self, but apparently, he's been going the technological route, and had this app developed for his preferences in his declining aging self.
The interface is quite simple and user-friendly for our aging skipper. I used the "DeLorean" app, to get a glimpse of the near future of the 2010 season, to see how the Braves were doing, and since I decided to go into June, unfortunately, the same thing was happening this June as it has been in prior years; we weren't doing so hot in Interleague.
To your right is what Bobby's iPhone looks like from the dugout in mid-June. At the start of the season, all names are a vibrant green, indicating that they're fresh, healthy, and ready to pitch. As they're used throughout the season, the color of their name changes from green to red, depending on their workload. As John Smoltz once said a long time ago, after you throw your first pitch in the season, you'll never be 100% again.
Or, if there are any other Left 4 Dead nerds like me out there, once you take your first hit, you'll never see 100% health again.
As you can see, Peter Moylan has already been used an exorbitant amount of times to where by mid-June, his name is already in the red. But the Bullpen Manager is such a smart app, it learns to your preferences, and the more you use a guy, the larger his name becomes, because clearly he's a favorite.
Also customizable, are roles; you can designate certain pitchers for specific roles, much like as you can see that Saito has been designated the 8th-inning man, and Billy Wagner has been set up as the 9th-inning man, and are thus grayed out and ineligible to be contacted any time prior. O'Flaherty has been designated the LOOGY here, and Manny Acosta has been set to only be called upon when the bases are loaded, and probably in a critical, game-changing scenario. Optimistically, I'm guessing due to the awesomeness of our starting pitching, Kris Medlen in the long-relief role doesn't appear to be at all that fatigued; which is a good sign of things to come.
Unfortunately, this glimpse into the future does not bode well for our young and inexperienced, in Jesse Chavez and Lee Hyde. Their names appear to be as green as the grass in spring, and their constant lack of use and neglect has led their names and call buttons to shrink to the point where they'll probably be forgotten, demoted, and ultimately end up on the Kansas City Royals or Washington Nationals.
Ain't technology grand?