Newbie Guide

It was many and many a month ago,

in a kingdom three hours from Garfield 

That a stadium lie there who you may know

By the name of Turner Field

And this stadium had no other design

Than to be home to the Atlanta Braves


I was a fan and she had my team,

in that kingdom three hours from Garfield

But I loved the Braves, and they almost won

In the stadium called Turner Field,

With a love that the missing letter Natinals,

coveted for their outfield


So they swept us in four games

In that kingdom three hours from Garfield

Leaving us out of the postseason

Bringing the offseason to Turner Field


Franky and Co. went to work 

To build a better team

What's this you say?

You don't know who's new

In the kingdom three hours from Garfield


Take a look below and you shall see

Who's who and who's new

And who will play by the zoo

At the kingdom called Turner Field

2 things before I begin:

1) Yes, I based this off a poem, although I want to see if anyone can pick it up

2) I actually only did this because I wanted to write poetry (slow times)


So, there was talk for a Newbie Guide in terms of nicknames  and I was bored, so here you go:


ATJ – All Thumbs Jefferson for Kelly Johnson. I think his old old nickname was Scooter.
Rake – Greg Norton because he looks like a tool in his picture last year
Imhotep or Mummy guy – Infante because he looks like the guy from the mummy
3U – Kotchman for hitting weak grounders to 1st base
Leon, the Professional, the glider, FUGA – Garret Anderson, professional hitter and defensive glider.
Heap – McCann. His friends gave him the nickname I believe.
Logan Shaver – Mr. Schafer because ESPN announcers are dumbfucks.
FYF – Frenchy you Fuck or Frenchy you Freak when he’s good.
Rev – Jorge Campillo. I forgot what this one stood for. Revelation?

Other stuff
Vidro – double play
Walk – something that doesn’t help you score runs
OPS guy – #44

-courtesy of VIctorW

Captain Caveman- Matty D. Given to him by  NCChopper, we think

Manny I'll Cost Ya- Manny Acosta. Should be self explanatory 

The Aussie- Moylan. Pretty Obvious

Nasty Nate- Nate McLouth. Not sure how he got it

Odarp- Prado spelled backwards

Jesus- sometimes used as a nickname for Tommy, although very sparingly 

The Jay Hay Kid-Heyward, also used very sparingly


Anything I missed? (Oh yeah, now I feel stupid because I'm getting that this will be deleted. C'est la vie)

This FanPost does not express the views or opinions of Talking Chop.

Log In Sign Up

Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Talking Chop

You must be a member of Talking Chop to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Talking Chop. You should read them.

Join Talking Chop

You must be a member of Talking Chop to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Talking Chop. You should read them.




Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.