If you follow me on Twitter (I’m sorry), I know what you’re thinking. You’re probably wondering what fresh hell this is that such an abominable pairing would take place. Surely, this is where things have truly jumped the shark.
This is like the Bizarro World episode of Seinfeld.
This is like that time Disco Inferno joined the nWo.
This is like when Liberty Media thought it was a good idea to buy a baseball team.
What could possibly explain such an interesting joining of forces? How did it come to be that the terrible joke guy now writes for the stats site? Have I finally gone mad? Was I so scarred from my recent podcast appearance that this is the only way to wash the Knockahoma off me? Do we need something to help us realize that we still have a pulse after enduring The Longest Offseason Ever? Yes, Maybe, and Definitely.
Anyone who went to a party college that’s worth its weight in your federal student loan dollars knows that sometimes strange bedfellows take place and while a lot of time can be spent (and wasted) wondering how those two hungover and confused individuals woke up next to one another, it’s a whole lot more fun to sit back and see what happens next.
Now, if you don’t follow me on Twitter (and at this point, why aren’t you? Follow me @JDunnah and send me presents!), a lot of what you just read probably doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. And let’s be honest with ourselves and say that it’s probably for the best. But I encourage you to do just this — see what happens next. Because I believe that we are best when we do what we love to do, and some of the things that I love to do are to make people laugh and to, at the same time, make people regret that they are laughing a little bit. And that’s what I hope to offer here. Talking Chop is a great community of very intelligent baseball people, and bless them all for it, because I still can’t see the WARP stat without first thinking of Super Mario Bros. (dunnah dunnah dunnah…world 1-2, anyone?)
One online GIF search of Adrian Beltre is proof enough that perhaps baseball and humor aren’t such strange bedfellows after all. And I love both. I love when a celebrity throws out the first pitch in a baseball game and fails spectacularly. I love when a guy is racing The Freeze and falls on his face right before reaching the finish line. I love the absurd things this game brings to us. And it’s this stuff that I hope to write about. I hope it’s fun, I hope it’s entertaining, and if it’s not, all we have lost is time.
Kind of like most of this offseason.
Join us.