Panic! The Braves suck so let's rosterbate... QUICK!

So in another thread, someone mentioned the anti-jinx of calling out how much the Braves suck so they will revert back to their winning ways... After a two game losing streak, I'm afraid the cliff divers might start coming out of the woodwork again and if that happens, it's very important for those who know how to fix the team to have a place to voice their novel ideas.... The old rosterbation thread is archiving soon so let's get this one up and running and what better way than to rosterbate profusely about things we have no control over!

Again, I have some rules:

1) Braves suck, so all positions are now elligible for your rosterbatory thoughts...

2) Jurrjens is a schmuck who should be relieving games and not starting them so... your rotation rosterbation is greatly need.

3) Our bullpen is giving up runs and we obviously don't have a defined closer... Now's the time to put some closure on our closer situation... (Mike Adams anyone?).

4) Our coaching staff can't coach their way out of a wet paper bag... Perhaps our regression is due to their ineptitude... So let's fire everyone and bring on Larry Sr. and Maddux ASAP. Don't really care who our manager is, let's let Chipper be player/manager and see how that works for us.

If I were to rosterbate right now, I think my wish list would start with Kemp, Pujols, Reyes (of course) and also include (realistically): Y'all figure out who we would send... Anyone not named Teheran, Heyward or McCann should be on the block (IMO)

Arizona: J. Upton, S. Drew; I would want the package deal. LF for Upton. What a stupid OF of Upton, Schafer and Heyward. I dream about things like that... Drew at SS would be delicious too...

Boston: J. Ellsbury, J. Lowrie; Another package deal... Ellsbury would move to center and Schafer to LF... Again, great OF defense w/ Schafer, Ellsbury and Heyward. I probably dream about this too.... Lowrie would slot in wherever we needed him next year. 3B or SS.

Brewers: M. Adams; seriously... why not? Imagine O'VentBrelAms in the 6-9th, unstoppable

Royals: W. Betemit; Twins: M. Cuddyer - Both are utility, team type players. I'd only want one or the other of course but they would have use for us, methinks.

Yea, no new nuggets from me, I just wanted to officially anti-jinx us and get up a new rosterbation thread. Lord knows what would happen if one wasn't available for all the great ideas out there. :-)

This FanPost does not express the views or opinions of Talking Chop.

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