Fielding a Complete Team
by BraveSaluki on May 28, 2010 12:10 PM EDT
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PrintIf you've have the pleasure of following the Talking Chop Open Threads in recent weeks, you've witnessed the new favorite hobby of Smoltz's Beard and myself, among others: poorly photoshopping Braves players' heads on random objects. This trend first arose in tribute to The-Ender-of-Worlds-That-Is-Troy-Glaus (patent pending), and has expanded to include such Braves stalwarts as Melky, Medlen, Kawakami, and this gorgeous creation that first appeared last night. But then I thought, why stop there? Why shouldn't I put Chipper's head on a javelina or make Lowe into Glenda the Good Witch of the North?
After the jump, a full roster of poorly photoshopped Braves players.
The 25 players represented here are what I guess I would consider the Braves' optimum 25-man roster, removing injuries. That is to say, Diaz and Jurrjens are included, and Venters is in while Jo-Jo languishes somewhere else. Some of these are better than others, but in any case I hope you enjoy viewing them as much as I enjoyed creating them. You are also welcome to submit your own hack job photoshops in the comments. Enjoy.
Tim gets in touch with his ancestors by donning the clothes of noted explorer Henry Hudson. I believe Timmy pulls off the flea collar look flawlessly.
Yunel becomes my favorite character from the now-defunct series Nip/Tuck, Yunel Escobar Gallardo
Infante = infant. Pretty clever, eh?
Eric O'Flaherty
I love the Irish.
Mr. Plow, that's his name. That name again, is Mr. Plow.
When the Fraggles need advice or stellar production from the catcher position, they visit the wise Mac Heap.
That quote about that Free Willy song was pretty good.
Jesse 'Cesar' Chavez is boycotting grapes. I wish he would boycott giving up runs, but hey, at least he stands for something.
Here's hoping Melky keeps up his recent success and I create a prettier Melky Way image.
I could definitely see Petey as a boxing kangaroo in a former life.
CAPTAAAAAAAAAAAAIN CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVEMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
Why it's our good friend, Crabs Medallion!
Brad Pitt wishes he had Glaus's body.
Tommy takes a spin as Chris Hansen. I think this would be particularly useful after one of Tommy's many strikeouts.
Rossie the Riveter! *This image is to be kept away from Chip Caray, for fear of fisting implications.
McClouth? McLeod? McLouth? McCloud? Yeah, that's it, Nate McCloud.
Credit for this idea goes to a hooter's baby, who suggested last night that Takashi swing the bat like a Hattori Hanzo sword.
He may be a little small, but he can do great things (walk-off grand slam, anyone?) Brooks is Mighty Mouse.
KK has a message for his teammates:
Enter Sandman, indeed.
'Dean' Martin Prado and the rest of the gang.
Truth, Justice, and the American way.
Grandpa? Old Man? Affinity for Hooters waitresses? Chipper Jones is Dick Vitale?
Jonny is a Venters-loquist (but he's no dummy).
Staples guy reads the stat line for a DLW.
Bobby Cox
And lest we forget the faithful leader of this bunch of ragtag rogues. Bobby is the Skipper.
Have a good Memorial Day weekend everyone! I'll be out of town, so hopefully we'll need some apprentice Rainbow Llamasaurus wranglers to celebrate a sweep of the Pirates.
This FanPost does not express the views or opinions of Talking Chop.
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Rec'd
I like the Lowe and Bobby Cox. lolz
by romone_braves91 on May 28, 2010 12:29 PM EDT reply actions
Oh how could I forget, Hinske as Mr. Plow.
by romone_braves91 on May 28, 2010 12:35 PM EDT up reply actions
Rec'd
You have true photoshop talent :D
It's deja vu all over again.
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
It ain't over til it's over
-Yogi Berra
This is amazing. Excellent work.
"If you were going to make a Mount Rushmore of managers, Bobby's one of them."
-Mike Scioscia
by The Keith Lockhart Era on May 28, 2010 12:57 PM EDT reply actions
Full of win.
All are terrific, but The Melky Way is probably my favorite.
"UNLIKE CYBORG REYES JOJO MY CPU DOES NOT REQUIRE 'EARNED RUNS' FOR NOURISHMENT"
Great stuff
“The Melky Way” is my personal favorite
"Look out Atlanta. Jason Heyward is going to wow you."
-Chipper
Oh my Heyward
That KK picture made me choke on my lunch. Great stuff.
"Batting 4th and doing the catching, says here this guy weighs 210 pounds...I'm not buyin it! It's Brian McCann."
by Scott Coleman on May 28, 2010 2:03 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
/perfroms heimlich maneuver on you so you don’t choke and die
It's deja vu all over again.
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
It ain't over til it's over
-Yogi Berra
by MBL1 on May 28, 2010 3:12 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Wow, That's a Lowe Start
We have a winner.
"Funny scene in clubhouse, reporters surrounding Prado, pointing recorders toward him. Moylan sneaks into group quietly, points Klondike bar." - DOB
by McCann and McWill on May 28, 2010 3:14 PM EDT reply actions
all great, especially bobby and chipper. also, i feel cool for recognizing the guy with the tats from nip/tuck was (though i’m not sure who he is…didn’t he kill somebody?)
"Sometimes I think it is a great mistake to have matter that can think and feel. It complains so. By the same token, though, I suppose that boulders and mountains and moons could be accused of being a little too phlegmatic."
-Kurt Vonnegut, "The Sirens of Titan"
by Bravely going forward on May 28, 2010 3:21 PM EDT reply actions
Nate McCloud
excellent
if only Nate was as badass as Fox
by bravesforever16 on May 28, 2010 4:07 PM EDT reply actions
The suspense is KILLING ME!
It's deja vu all over again.
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
It ain't over til it's over
-Yogi Berra
by MBL1 on May 28, 2010 6:05 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
I see nothing...
Damn you, firewall!
"…aren’t worthy enough to hold his (Pujols) ass cheeks apart while Playboy models wipe him with thousand dollar bills after he craps out the cure to whatever previously-incurable disease." by royhobbs 1/7/09
The KK one made me laugh out loud. Nice work.
But minus half a point for no Glausosaur.
by Ivan the Great on May 29, 2010 11:37 AM EDT reply actions
Wow
Soooo glad I had finished my coffee, otherwise it’d be all over the screen. Enjoyed that immensely! Thanks for all the effort it took.
WOW, THATS A LOWE START
haha, I hate that commercial, now I’m gonna laugh every time it comes on..
Brandon W: "What's up Heyward?"
Jason H: "Hangin with Freddie, What you up to Brandon?"
Brandon W: "nothing much."
by bwellnjonesco on May 29, 2010 3:19 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
My own, inspired by Glaus, Ender of Worlds
While he’s ending worlds, he might as well be eating them, too!
Galaustus. Love it.
If you wanted to do one based on the the character in Rise of the Silver Surfer you could have just put Glaus’ face over a cloud. What a fucking fail that was.
"UNLIKE CYBORG REYES JOJO MY CPU DOES NOT REQUIRE 'EARNED RUNS' FOR NOURISHMENT"
by Smoltz's Beard on Jun 3, 2010 2:43 PM EDT up reply actions
Why am i just now clicking on this post?
Great job! Chipper as Dick Vitale and KK’s were my personal favorites.
"Matt Diaz is a baseball player."-Joe Simpson
1st time seeing this post
Good job, thanks for the shout out
Watching Bobby Cox pick boogers since 1995
by a hooter's baby on Jun 10, 2010 6:00 PM EDT reply actions
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