Braves Sitcoms

by niekromurphy on Aug 4, 2009 4:09 PM EDT Comment 26 comments

Inspired by the rhyme fanpost, I decided to start one about sitcoms starring current or former Braves. For example:

Mike Hampton stars in Hampton's Inn. Hotel owner Mike Hampton finds wacky new ways to injure himself each week in this slapstick comedy. With special guest stars, J.D. Drew, Nick Esasky, Bruce Sutter, and Jody Davis. Ozzie Virgil plays the wacky neighbor.

Bobby Cox stars in a Curb Your Enthusiasm style show called Bobby Cox Gets Thrown Out of Life. On Showtime.

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Yunel Escobar has a new show coming out featuring all his best hair care tips. He’ll be teaching a boatload of Cuban refugees how to style, primp, and throw the occasional temper tantrum. Tune in to your local Spanish language channel on Tuesdays this fall for “Cubrió de escarcha Puntas” (that’s “Frosted Tips” for you gringos).

Francoeur: "If OBP is so important, why don't they put it on the scoreboard?"
Chipper: "Wow, you really are a dumbass."

by Rhyno18 on Aug 4, 2009 5:44 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Jason Heyward will be starring in an updated version of the 1984 baseball classic, “The Natur…”

Wait, I don’t want to jinx him. SI already ruined one promising young right fielder we had.

Francoeur: "If OBP is so important, why don't they put it on the scoreboard?"
Chipper: "Wow, you really are a dumbass."

by Rhyno18 on Aug 4, 2009 5:47 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

shut your mouth!

7/24/2009 - "The Phillies are too far ahead in the NL East for the Braves to make a run." - Buster Olney

REMEMBER THAT BOYS.

by mvhsbball on Aug 4, 2009 6:22 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Brian McCann will be guest starring as Bizarro in Smallville this fall. See, he has to put his glasses on to become Superman.

Francoeur: "If OBP is so important, why don't they put it on the scoreboard?"
Chipper: "Wow, you really are a dumbass."

by Rhyno18 on Aug 4, 2009 5:52 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

New quote!

by Chopaholic on Aug 5, 2009 3:42 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Chipper Jones will be doing a new Food Network show in the fall where he will travel the country, similar to Guy Fieri’s “Diner’s Drive Ins and Dives”. The kicker is, Chipper will only visit Hooter’s in the towns he visits. Tune in for “Wingward Ho!”

ucwhatididthar?

Francoeur: "If OBP is so important, why don't they put it on the scoreboard?"
Chipper: "Wow, you really are a dumbass."

by Rhyno18 on Aug 4, 2009 5:56 PM EDT reply actions 5 recs

Awful, tasteless, rec'd

"…aren’t worthy enough to hold his (Pujols) ass cheeks apart while Playboy models wipe him with thousand dollar bills after he craps out the cure to whatever previously-incurable disease." by royhobbs 1/7/09

by buzzdeadwax on Aug 4, 2009 7:55 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Adam LaRoche, Nate McLouth, Ryan Church, and Martin Prado will star in a remake of the 80’s classic TV show, the A-Team.

“In 2009, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Atlanta underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, if your current 1B, CF, RF or 2B just isn’t cutting it, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire… The A-Team.”

Adam is Hannibal, Nate is Face, Prado is B.A. and Church is Murdoch.

Francoeur: "If OBP is so important, why don't they put it on the scoreboard?"
Chipper: "Wow, you really are a dumbass."

by Rhyno18 on Aug 4, 2009 6:06 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Kelly Johnson will be starring in 2 live action Charlie Brown specials. He has the starring role as Charlie Brown in the Halloween special, where he goes Trick-or-Treating and gets nothing but rocks.

He also has a cameo in the Charlie Brown Christmas Special, as the poor little tree nobody wants.

Francoeur: "If OBP is so important, why don't they put it on the scoreboard?"
Chipper: "Wow, you really are a dumbass."

by Rhyno18 on Aug 4, 2009 6:10 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

There will also be a recurring scene...

In which he and Martin Prado are in the cages working on the fundamentals of hitting. Kelly feels good, takes a mighty cut…and Prado yanks the ball off the team just before he can make contact.

Remember, kids...don't ever let facts get in the way of your argument.

by MichaelProcton on Aug 4, 2009 9:18 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

The entire 2009 Atlanta Braves offense will star in

The Inconsistent Bunch.

7/24/2009 - "The Phillies are too far ahead in the NL East for the Braves to make a run." - Buster Olney

REMEMBER THAT BOYS.

by mvhsbball on Aug 4, 2009 6:23 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

That'll be directed by Joe Morgan

He’ll make sure the show is consistent.

by buzzdeadwax on Aug 4, 2009 7:56 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

LOL with Joe Morgan

It’ll be consistently bad.

7/24/2009 - "The Phillies are too far ahead in the NL East for the Braves to make a run." - Buster Olney

REMEMBER THAT BOYS.

by mvhsbball on Aug 4, 2009 8:08 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

by Lizziebeth on Aug 5, 2009 12:31 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Church and State: Ryan Church is the by the book detective. His partner State plays by his own rules.

by niekromurphy on Aug 4, 2009 8:45 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Who plays State?

by buzzdeadwax on Aug 5, 2009 11:17 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Starring Corky Miller as State.

by niekromurphy on Aug 5, 2009 11:39 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Whoof

That’ll be one helluva catering bill…ooh—how about Wickman as State? He sure as hell didn’t play by any rules.

by buzzdeadwax on Aug 5, 2009 1:55 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Devil Wears Prado. No show idea, I just liked the title.

by niekromurphy on Aug 4, 2009 8:48 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs

+1

by Zeus12888 on Aug 5, 2009 2:30 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Which is almost as good a title as.....

Chipper and the stripper meet Jack the Ripper. Kind of a time travel show.

by niekromurphy on Aug 4, 2009 8:49 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Remake of the Honeymooners

Starring Pat Corrales and Greg Norton (as Norton).

by niekromurphy on Aug 4, 2009 8:50 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Greg Norton and the Strike Zone star in “Perfect Strangers.”

by BullManUGA on Aug 5, 2009 2:01 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

He’s been doing a little better.

by niekromurphy on Aug 5, 2009 11:40 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I would seriously pay money to watch this

Maddux, Glavine, and Smoltz playing golf in the offseason. Make a reality tv show out of it. Greg occasionally pops up in Boston to say “Just throw strikes, Smoltzy.”

by Bronn on Aug 5, 2009 6:52 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

i dont.

Smoltzy, Mad Dog and Glavine are baseball players. and they know they’re baseball players. they have no interest in these stupid reality shows like T.O. or Chad Johnson legally changing his name to Ocho Cinco.

Just shut the F up and play your damn sport and your enjoy millions of dollars. THAT is why im a Braves fan. We very, very, very rarely have knuckleheads who care more about themselves than the well being of the team.

7/24/2009 - "The Phillies are too far ahead in the NL East for the Braves to make a run." - Buster Olney

REMEMBER THAT BOYS.

by mvhsbball on Aug 6, 2009 1:17 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs