Kelly Johnson arrested, charged with aggravated battery
by sdp on Aug 19, 2009 6:33 PM EDT
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PrintATLANTA, GA (AP) — An Atlanta man was arrested and charged with aggravated battery on Wednesday afternoon after police say he bashed a man across the head while he slept.
Atlanta Police Chief Richard Pennington says Kelly Andrew Johnson, 27, was taken into custody on Wednesday afternoon following a brief standoff at his downtown condominium. No one was injured.
A witness told officials that he saw Johnson bash Martín Manuel Prado of Maracay, Venezuela, across the head with a steel pipe as he slept in his Duluth home. Investigators took time in gathering the evidence before obtaining warrants for Johnson's arrest. Atlanta Police refused to discuss any motives.
Prado, 25, has been experiencing strange neurological symptoms since the attack and is now undergoing a thorough battery of tests to determine what damage may have been caused in Johnson's alleged attack.
At press time, no bond had been set. Johnson is set to be arraigned on Thursday morning in an Atlanta court.
This FanPost does not express the views or opinions of Talking Chop.
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Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball.
James Patrick Murray
I hope Martin isn’t going to press charges. We’d have a roster spot open and have to call Diory back.
7/10/09-A New Dawn.
by !Vive la Francoeur! on Aug 19, 2009 6:50 PM EDT reply actions
Not funny
Pete Rose was actually banned from baseball for teaching Jeff Francoeur how to play. He made up the gambling stuff to hide his shame.
The Hon. Judge Haithcock will preside over the hearings.
If Dunn walks 30 fewer times, he'll drive in 15 more runs. This is thanks to the scientifically proven formula: RBI = (this is nonsense) (I made it all up).
Here's a stat: Wins as manager: Dusty Baker, 1,162; Bill James, 0.
WTF?
Seriously?
7/24/2009 - "The Phillies are too far ahead in the NL East for the Braves to make a run." - Buster Olney
REMEMBER THAT BOYS.
by Scott Coleman on Aug 19, 2009 7:00 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
HAHA
"...Braves tie! ...Braves tie! ...Braves tie!"
by The Keith Lockhart Era on Aug 20, 2009 11:14 PM EDT up reply actions
haha my comment wasnt serious. i just thought it was weird to post something like this.
7/24/2009 - "The Phillies are too far ahead in the NL East for the Braves to make a run." - Buster Olney
REMEMBER THAT BOYS.
by Scott Coleman on Aug 19, 2009 10:25 PM EDT up reply actions
10-1 odds that it involved Jeff Francouer
Heyward,Hanson,and Shaffer r ready now!! Why do you think they havent signed the "right handed bat"?
by fatazfoot on Jan 7, 2009 8:59 PM EST
no, Chipper looks too young for it to be the FYF era. Im guessing its after Andruw struck out on a slider 2 feet off the plate (which he did about 50 times a year back in the late 90’s and early 2000s)
7/24/2009 - "The Phillies are too far ahead in the NL East for the Braves to make a run." - Buster Olney
REMEMBER THAT BOYS.
by Scott Coleman on Aug 19, 2009 11:44 PM EDT up reply actions
Talk about wanting the 2B spot bad
Kelly found one way to get his starting job back XD, but it failz
Do you know why Buster Olney's initials are BO, because he stinks
Best. GIF. EVER!
"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone." A. Bartlett Giamatti
Hey Chipper
We’re hitting Hooters after the game. Wanna Come?
by BravesfaninMontana on Aug 21, 2009 2:32 PM EDT up reply actions
That is just wrong in so many ways.
Besides, I think Kelly would have hired a hitman, ala Tanya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan. Can’t you just picture Prado lying on the ground, clutching his knee, crying “WHY ME!?!?!?!?!?!?!” over and over.
Shouldn't Reid Gorecki get a shot in RF before that Heyward kid everybody talks about?
I thought it was funny. After the Church/Francoeur & LaRoche/Kotchman trades, I considered writing an article, sort of in The Onion style, of “Braves trade every player on starting roster for player of equal value” and peppering it with quotes like
‘“Let me be clear,” said Frank Wren, “this is a lateral move. This will not help us reach the playoffs any more than keeping the players we traded would have.”’
Something like that.
Satire is one thing
But having it involve the topic of assault and battery isn’t that funny…
Besides, you didn’t include the obviously relevant baseball numbers for both KJ and Prado, but then again, that would give away the answer to why such events would have transpired…
No wonder nobody likes you, Tuttle... everything's a (Pujols) damn debate.
Good reporting!
Although i was expecting it would be Bobby who was hit by Kelly, with a lead pipe, in the Library.
"Ohhhh Shit."-Bobby Cox, 3/28/09
Spam
(self-appointed President of Yunel's Cartel~~~)
"The future is no place to place your better days." - Dave Matthews ~ RIP Roi
by Chief Noc-A-Homa on Aug 19, 2009 10:19 PM EDT reply actions
hilarious….haha….i hope they have KJ in custody still because he’ll be gunning for mr. conrad, brooks in the near future.
'09 NL East: 1.Braves 2.Phils 3.Mets 4.Marlins 5. Nats
by lemke2blauser2bream on Aug 20, 2009 5:47 AM EDT reply actions
This was absolutely fantastic. Anyone who doesn’t think its funny really takes life way too seriously.
GREEN
Yeah. Joking around that a player was arrested….. That’s freaking genius. Why didn’t I think of that?
(self-appointed President of Yunel's Cartel~~~)
"The future is no place to place your better days." - Dave Matthews ~ RIP Roi
by Chief Noc-A-Homa on Aug 20, 2009 8:21 AM EDT up reply actions
Didn’t I say “freaking” ?…….oh well. I must have missed the rules section 45.B stating that swearing isn’t allowed….. Nice quote from Bobby, btw. That was some funny, fucking shite.
I guess we should follow the pros’ motto: Swearing is not cool. On the field, or off.
(self-appointed President of Yunel's Cartel~~~)
"The future is no place to place your better days." - Dave Matthews ~ RIP Roi
by Chief Noc-A-Homa on Aug 20, 2009 12:55 PM EDT up reply actions
Are you kidding?
Cox made that easy. Just take part of their last or first name, chop of the end of it, add a y and you’re set.
Example:
LaRoche —> Rochey
Rafael —> Rafey
Matt —> Matty
I can go on for hours. :)
by tomahawkin108 on Aug 20, 2009 5:04 PM EDT up reply actions
Too busy being the biggest douche in the universe?
(self-appointed President of Yunel's Cartel~~~)
"The future is no place to place your better days." - Dave Matthews ~ RIP Roi
by Chief Noc-A-Homa on Aug 20, 2009 5:57 PM EDT up reply actions
Probably more than you have. Upwards 15,000 posts? It’s blatantly obvious how you spend your spare time. Just be sure to run some laps every now and then.
(self-appointed President of Yunel's Cartel~~~)
"The future is no place to place your better days." - Dave Matthews ~ RIP Roi
by Chief Noc-A-Homa on Aug 21, 2009 12:38 AM EDT up reply actions
too be fair he’s been here well over a year… whereas u have 2600 and have only been here 1/2 year…. so the number of posts is hardly fair to compare (ha..i rhymed)
for example i would suggest you go outside and go for a run as u have more posts than i…despite the fact i’ve been on the site for 3 times as long
Heyward,Hanson,and Shaffer r ready now!! Why do you think they havent signed the "right handed bat"?
by fatazfoot on Jan 7, 2009 8:59 PM EST
you know the hole that the Atlantic ocean is in? My dad dug it.
"Actually, Justin was right."
by bigjoe on May 15, 2009 9:04 AM PDT
by justincredubil02 on Aug 21, 2009 3:51 PM EDT up reply actions
lmao. Too much fun.
(self-appointed President of Yunel's Cartel~~~)
"The future is no place to place your better days." - Dave Matthews ~ RIP Roi
by Chief Noc-A-Homa on Aug 21, 2009 5:12 PM EDT up reply actions
Nice work, Holmes.
(sprints)
(self-appointed President of Yunel's Cartel~~~)
"The future is no place to place your better days." - Dave Matthews ~ RIP Roi
by Chief Noc-A-Homa on Aug 21, 2009 5:15 PM EDT up reply actions
I’ve actually been here over 2 years and would take part in every game thread imaginable, but who’s counting?
the site is counting…and its at 13954
Heyward,Hanson,and Shaffer r ready now!! Why do you think they havent signed the "right handed bat"?
by fatazfoot on Jan 7, 2009 8:59 PM EST
It was pretty funny...
but would have been funnier if it was at all believable.
"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone." A. Bartlett Giamatti
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