The 2009 Braves-More Than Meets the Eye!

by Rhyno18 on Jun 25, 2009 12:17 PM EDT Comment 46 comments

In honor of the new Transformers movie, and the fact I took my kids to see it yesterday this attempt at a little levity came to mind. Here is current Braves lineup and their Transformer(movie versions) alter ego.

1. Nate McLouth is Ratchet. Because all Braves fans were hoping his appearance in a Braves uniform would fix everything.

2. Yunel Escobar is Sideswipe. He's good, but he thinks he's even better than he actually is.

3. Chipper Jones is Optimus Prime. 'Nuff said.

4. Brian McCann is Ironhide. Tough as nails, and has the ability to lead when Optimus Jones(or Chipper Prime?) is down.

5. Garrett Anderson/Matt Diaz are Mudflap & Skids, the Autobot Twins. I hated both when the Braves first acquired them, but Diaz has won me over and Anderson is starting to. I hated the Twins at first in the new movie, but they show how tough they are by they end, and won me over a little bit.

6. Casey Kotchman is Jazz. He doesn't have much power and doesn't get enough respect for what he does.

7. Jeff Francoeur is The Fallen. Without ruining the plot and giving spoilers, The Fallen was a Prime who went bad and started the Decepticons. Francoeur had all the power and promise and the world before turning evil.

8. Kelly Johnson is Bumblebee. He doesn't say much, and tends to be either loved or hated, but in the end he's a tough little SOB.

9. Bobby Cox is Jetfire. A Transformer from a time long ago.

Of course all the Braves are Autobots except for the right fielder, cause we're the good guys right? Discuss.

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I dont think anyone loves KJ right now

by Heyward is the next crime dog on Jun 25, 2009 12:20 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

i love KJ

"Ohhhh Shit."-Bobby Cox, 3/28/09

by 10-4 on Jun 25, 2009 12:44 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Me too

by Andy Braves Fan on Jun 25, 2009 2:39 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Kelly Johnson puts the ball in play…they WILL start to drop. He plays a more-than-solid 2B. He plays hard every play, every day. I love KJ.

by Jareth Cutestory on Jun 25, 2009 2:59 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

+1 for the username, not so sure on the sentiment

by ghost of tom thobe on Jun 25, 2009 3:21 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

No worries Jareth

+2 for the name and sentiment.

by Andy Braves Fan on Jun 25, 2009 3:23 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

My man crush on KJ is disgusting

by eaheckman10 on Jun 26, 2009 11:57 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Kelly Johnson is Shia Labeouf

He’s not hitting too well right now…

A man walks into a meat shoppe and goes to the counter. The cashier asks, "Thinking about buying some meat?". The man replied, "No, I'm going to buy meat, I was thinking about punanny."

by bwellnjonesco on Jun 25, 2009 12:45 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

bazing!

"Actually, Justin was right."
by bigjoe on May 15, 2009 9:04 AM PDT

by justincredubil02 on Jun 25, 2009 12:58 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I would say Chipper Jones is Megan Fox, in that i would probably get a chubb if i ever met him.

"Ohhhh Shit."-Bobby Cox, 3/28/09

by 10-4 on Jun 25, 2009 12:59 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

"Actually, Justin was right."
by bigjoe on May 15, 2009 9:04 AM PDT

by justincredubil02 on Jun 25, 2009 1:01 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

So you would do Chipper Jones? or You wouldn’t do Megan Fox?

A man walks into a meat shoppe and goes to the counter. The cashier asks, "Thinking about buying some meat?". The man replied, "No, I'm going to buy meat, I was thinking about punanny."

by bwellnjonesco on Jun 25, 2009 1:04 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Flip it. Just because i get a chub, doesn’t mean i would go through with it. i’m not an animal.

"Ohhhh Shit."-Bobby Cox, 3/28/09

by 10-4 on Jun 25, 2009 1:23 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

So you wouldn’t do Megan Fox….your such a homo…haha, I’m jking with you.

A man walks into a meat shoppe and goes to the counter. The cashier asks, "Thinking about buying some meat?". The man replied, "No, I'm going to buy meat, I was thinking about punanny."

by bwellnjonesco on Jun 25, 2009 1:28 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

This thread needs more Megan Fox

by VictorW on Jun 25, 2009 5:19 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Every

Thread needs more Meagan.

See what the daily item is today! http://www.sportmemorylane.com

by dragonhawk26 on Jun 25, 2009 6:15 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Pujols is Grimlock.

OT, check out this link about Klesko:

If Dunn walks 30 fewer times, he'll drive in 15 more runs. This is thanks to the scientifically proven formula: RBI = (this is nonsense) (I made it all up).

Here's a stat: Wins as manager: Dusty Baker, 1,162; Bill James, 0.

by TradeAndruw on Jun 25, 2009 1:35 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Dang

I was waiting to see who would be tasked with the dubious role of Bumblebee. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

No wonder nobody likes you, Tuttle... everything's a (Pujols) damn debate.

by royhobbs on Jun 25, 2009 1:58 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

That movie was so bad, it literally made me sick to my stomach. If I ever get the chance to meet Michale Bay, I’m going to punch him in the nuts for ruining my favorite childhood cartoon.

"At least he didn’t nail the bitchy fat girl from Hell's Kitchen."
www.dropoutproductions.com

by cbwilk on Jun 25, 2009 5:15 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

GI Joe

was my favorite and I think it is going to be much much worse.

"Actually, Justin was right."
by bigjoe on May 15, 2009 9:04 AM PDT

by justincredubil02 on Jun 25, 2009 5:17 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I’m with you. They fired the director, this should be a clue.

"At least he didn’t nail the bitchy fat girl from Hell's Kitchen."
www.dropoutproductions.com

by cbwilk on Jun 25, 2009 11:35 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

The cast certainly leaves much to be desired...

But it can’t be worse than the Street Fighter Movie.

Remember, kids...don't ever let facts get in the way of your argument.

by MichaelProcton on Jun 26, 2009 11:24 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

You take that back, you son of a ...

Raul Julia’s last performance! French ballerina Jean-Claude Van Damme as Mr. USA Colonel Guile! It was only the greatest video game-to-film adaptation in history of mankind.

No wonder nobody likes you, Tuttle... everything's a (Pujols) damn debate.

by royhobbs on Jun 26, 2009 11:33 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

+100

That movie was awesomely bad…

by Andy Braves Fan on Jun 26, 2009 11:47 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

http://quickchangethechannel.ytmnd.com/

No wonder nobody likes you, Tuttle... everything's a (Pujols) damn debate.

by royhobbs on Jun 26, 2009 11:51 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Haha...

I mean, Kylie Minogue was hot.

Remember, kids...don't ever let facts get in the way of your argument.

by MichaelProcton on Jun 27, 2009 4:24 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Oh...

And Julia apparently did another made-for-TV drama after that.

Remember, kids...don't ever let facts get in the way of your argument.

by MichaelProcton on Jun 27, 2009 4:25 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

All I know is that Rachel Nichols is my new crush. About 90% of why I saw Star Trek the second time was to see her in all her green glory.

"At least he didn’t nail the bitchy fat girl from Hell's Kitchen."
www.dropoutproductions.com

by cbwilk on Jun 26, 2009 2:11 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

See it tonight…not even really looking forward to it at this point

by Smoltz's Beard on Jun 25, 2009 5:44 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Seeing it tonight

by Smoltz's Beard on Jun 25, 2009 5:45 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Likewise…in IMAX.

Please, please, don’t suck.

crosses fingers

by soup du jour on Jun 25, 2009 5:47 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Oh lawdy, that was some awful movie.

by soup du jour on Jun 25, 2009 10:16 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

dammit

I was looking forward to seeing it.

I went to the same college as Michael Bay, and was in the same fraternity…. Still think his idea of a movie sucks…

by Andy Braves Fan on Jun 26, 2009 9:57 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Ha...

Don’t you love famous frat brothers? I have Ron Popeil!

Remember, kids...don't ever let facts get in the way of your argument.

by MichaelProcton on Jun 26, 2009 11:25 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

sweet

I think Michael Bay was the only real famous one…

by Andy Braves Fan on Jun 26, 2009 11:48 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Well I have a couple others too, I just think he's the funniest.

Simon and Garfunkel are both brothers; met through the frat
Steve Stone
Jerry Reinsdorf
Wolf Blitzer
Gene “Willy Fuckin Wonka” Wilder
Jerry Lewis
Gary Bettman
Myles Brand
Ian Eagle (the CBS broadcaster who gets their worst NFL game every week)
Mark Zuckerberg (facebook founder)
Scott Wolf

Remember, kids...don't ever let facts get in the way of your argument.

by MichaelProcton on Jun 27, 2009 4:31 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

any other obscure pop-culture comparisons anyone would like to make to the braves? first the TGIF lineup, and now transformers? i know that hovering around .500 can be taxing on us fans, but cmon guys, this is a stretch.

The New Punchout for Nintendo Wii......get it

by bravesguy311 on Jun 26, 2009 10:43 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs