GO WEST YOUNG MAN: The Pittsburgh Event

So yeah, I was at the games in Pittsburgh on Friday & Saturday. Obviously, things didn't go too well. I had my trusty camera with me though, and heres a little peek at what I went through.

After braving (lolpun) some hideous traffic to get to my hotel, I snagged a spot in a garage literally right across the street from the Clemente bridge. Excellent.

Rolled into the park, cruised around the walkway checking out the beer selection, decide to check out my seats...AND HOLY CRAP.

I'm fucking close! Awesome. I return to my seat with 3 hot dogs and 2 beers and hang out as the pregame nonsense begins. I get to deal with the antics of the Pirate Parrot...

Tomahawk Team, he is not. Finally, we get lineups, and the MLB official pics haven't really improved. Bobby looks like he lost his slippers.

The pic at Turner where he's trying to look serious with his arms crossed from last year is absolute MONEY. Then our first baseman rolled along...

Ladies, doesn't he look like the kind of guy who would put something in your Solo cup? Then the game starts rolling along..pitchers duels are OK, but not when guys are being stranded every inning. It just gets boring and frustrating. The Pirates didn't print any of my text messages on the scoreboard (they give you a number to text to, and they throw stuff up there...apparently someone at PNC Park reads TC because my declarations of love for FYF went unposted). And then the fourth inning or so rolled along, and I saw THIS gem.

THE JOKES, THE JOKES!!!!! More fun with Adam LaRoche, when he came up to bat for the third time, I glanced at the scoreboard...and saw him hitting mylar balloons with a bat. And I realized...good god, they're serious.

This one is for my girl Lizziebeth, about 3 pitches before the McLouth bomb.

I was up the aisle before the ball landed. Sigh.

Saturday rolls along, and dammit, its time to win. JOJO won't let us down, will he? I got kind of an ominous sign, as the first player I saw when I started up the walkway was this man...

Oh fuck you cruel fate. This time I immediately rolled to the concessions. Boom shaka laka.

That was a half bucket of wings. HALF A FUCKING BUCKET. I have no idea how big a full bucket is. That one was 17 bucks, and I had like 25 or so wings in there. HEY LOOK, ITS YUNEL ESCOBAR!

Heres one for you to Photoshop royhobbs! THE BUILDINGS HAVE SPIKES ON THEM!

Heres one more, that had me laughing my ass off and really yearning to open up MS PAINT.

I had a nice discussion with the 70 year old in front of me of why Garret is a horrible baseball player. JOJO was on the mound though, and he pitched well. At least theres that.

As soon as Doumit hit that third double, I did my handshakes and got the hell out of Dodge. I also BEAT THE TRAFFIC and got on the turnpike within 20 minutes, which had me ecstatic.

If anyone is itching to see the rest of my crappy pics, Facebook. Huzzah. Thanks for reading.