I love that Heap doesn't even bother to shave when he goes to visit the president. McClassic.

~~

Yesterday morning, at the hotel in D.C. . . .

Schuerholz: John!
Smoltz: Homeboy! What's up?
Schuerholz: I've been invited to have a personal audience with the president this afternoon.
Smoltz: Wow, that's exciting!
Schuerholz: I know, right? Oh, and I'm allowed to bring a few players along. Naturally, you were the first person who came to mind.
Smoltz: Thank you! I'm honored.
Schuerholz: Let's ask a few other guys to join us. I don't want to look like I'm playing favorites, so I'll leave it up to you to invite them.
Smoltz: Okay . . . hmm. I'll have to think about it.
Schuerholz: Just let me know who you decide to ask.

Smoltz knocks on Huddy's door.

Huddy: Hey, Smoltzie, how's it going?
Smoltz: Pretty good, actually! Want to come meet the president with me this afternoon?
Huddy: Ha ha!
Huddy: Wait . . . is that some kind of drug metaphor?
Smoltz: No! I'm serious!
Huddy: Right, right. Where are the cameras?
Huddy: /peers down the hallway in both directions
Huddy: I ain't that gullible, man!
Smoltz: I'm not joking! Homeboy was invited, and he asked me along, and wants me to invite some other guys from the team to join us.
Huddy: Uh-huh, sure. Why don't you go try this on Frenchy? He'll buy it for sure. You'll get some great footage -- where are you hiding the camera?
Smoltz: What camera?? Is it that hard to believe that the president wants to meet some of the Braves?
Huddy: Is it hidden in one of your shirt buttons? Like some James Bond type shit? Hey, you're gonna show me the video of Frenchy's reaction, right?
Smoltz: Ugh -- if you don't believe me, just call Schuerholz. I think I WILL invite Frenchy, and I hope he has a little bit more trust in me!
Huddy: Sure, dude, whatever you say. They gonna air this bit nationally, or just on Sports South?

Smoltz knocks on Frenchy's door.

Frenchy: Hey, John!
Smoltz: Morning, Jeff. I have some pretty exciting news for you.
Frenchy: Ooh, ooh, let me guess!
Smoltz: Um--
Frenchy: Everyone on the Phillies took steriods, and the whole team is disqualified?!
Smoltz: No, Jeff--
Frenchy: EVERYONE ON THE METS?!
Smoltz: It actually doesn't have anything to do with getting to the playoffs.
Frenchy: Oh. Has it got anything to do with my burgeoning singing career?
Smoltz: What are you talking about?! It's about the President of the United States!
Frenchy: Oh. Wait . . . what?
Smoltz: Would you like to meet him?
Frenchy: What?! Really??
Smoltz: Yes, we've been invited to--
Frenchy: CAN HEAP COME??!?
Smoltz: Um. Well, I guess so, I mean--
Frenchy: OH MY GOD!! I'M GONNA GO TELL HIM!!!
Frenchy: /runs down the hall
Smoltz: Hmm.
Smoltz: I may have just made a terrible mistake.

Frenchy pounds on Heap's door

Frenchy: HEAP, WAKE UP!!!! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!!!
Frenchy: A NATIONAL EMERGENCY!!!

Heap opens the door, rubbing his eyes.

Heap: What the hell?
Frenchy: OH MY GOD, DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE WHITE HOUSE?!?!
Heap: Quit screaming! And no, you made us all go on that stupid tour the first time we came to D.C. for a road trip. I doubt much has changed.
Frenchy: NO I MEAN FOR REAL
Frenchy: LIKE THE PART OF THE WHITE HOUSE THE PRESIDENT IS IN
Heap: If you're talking about trying to break in to the oval office--
Frenchy: No, no, no! We've been invited to talk to the president! Smoltz said so!!
Heap: Are you serious? But why would the president want to meet us?
Frenchy: Um, DUH, Heap! He's obviously a huge Braves fan!!
Heap: Wouldn't he be a Rangers fan, though?
Frenchy: HA HA! As if anyone likes the Rangers! Good one.
Heap: No, really -- didn't he own the Rangers at some point?
Frenchy: Own them?? Doesn't he own ALL the MLB teams? When you really think about it?
Heap: . . . No? Are you high?
Frenchy: It's nine o'clock in the morning! I'm not high, this is for real!
Heap: Alright, man, but I'm having a hard time believing it.
Frenchy: Heap, have I ever lied to you?
Heap: No, but you've definitely told me things that you thought were true which turned out to be . . . less than valid.
Frenchy: This is not like that time Kelly burned popcorn and I thought the house was on fire! I'm talking about the president of our country! I don't fool around about stuff like this!
Heap: Okay, okay. Well, what should I wear?
Frenchy: NOT the shoes you wore when we met that senator.
Heap: You're never going to let me forget that, are you?
Frenchy: Probably not.

~~

The story about needing "pitchers" really cracked me up. But where is the picture that was taken?! Also, thanks to Lauren for reminding me that the picture with Isakson exists. As I told her, when I saw it last year, Heap's shoes were the first thing I noticed, no exaggeration.

I'm sorry that I haven't posted on here in awhile -- I was away from the internet all of Labor Day weekend, then I got sick, and I just started a new full time job this week. Add in an hour of commuting (at least) and that leaves me about ten minutes to fool around online when I get home, before the game comes on at seven. I'll work out my schedule eventually, but right now I'm a little overwhelmed and strapped for time (we're also trying to buy a house and move before the middle of October, just for added fun).

Admittedly, there hasn't been much worth writing about -- but I couldn't let the Dynamic Duo's visit to the White House pass by without my commentary.