Fun With Barry Bonds!
What do you want to bet ESPN somehow picks up ALL of our games in this series? FUN. Especially since I Tivo the late ones and therefore do not have the option of listening along with the radio instead . . . just kick their asses, boys.
~~
Last night, on the midnight flight to San Francisco . . .
Andruw: What a crappy series.
Willie: It wasn't all bad.
Chipper: Yeah, we did split it with them. And you homered in the opener.
Andruw: But Tony LaRussa yelled at me!!
Chipper: Well, Terry told him off for you, didn't he?
Andruw: Yeah, but then they hit Heap in retalliation! Out of all us they picked Heap, Chipper? The Cardinals are mean.
Chipper: Well, whatever. At least the Giants suck. Tomorrow's gonna be a long day. Or today, I should say, ugh.
Heap: /asleep
Frenchy: /pokes his arm
Frenchy: Hey, wake up, we're here! Gaw, Heap, you're always sleeping!
Heap: /rubs eyes, puts on his glasses
Heap: Frenchy, I just took a six hour midnight flight, what the hell do you expect? Look around, everyone else is tired, too.
Frenchy: /glances around at players who are yawning and complaining about ESPN
Heap: Man, I can't wait to get in bed! I hope the drive to the hotel won't be long.
Frenchy: You didn't even play tonight! Maybe Saltalamacch has a point, ya old codger.
Heap: /punches him
Frenchy: Hey, ow!
The players walk off the plane and through the airport. There is some sort of commotion at the exit, where the team bus is waiting . . .
Bobby: What the hell's all this?
Reporter: Oh my God, here they come!! It's the Braves!
Salty: /steps forward, grinning
Salty: Sorry, fellas, what can I say! I can't go anywhere without getting my picture taken, what a nuisance! Better give the people what they want, though--
Reporter: /runs to Smoltz
Reporter: What's it like to know that tomorrow you will be pitching to THE Barry Bonds!!
Smoltz: Well, I've pitched to him before--
Reporter: Yes but not when he was about to BREAK THE HOME RUN RECORD!!
Smoltz: Right, I understand that--
Reporter: As a Brave, do you feel TOTALLY BETRAYED that Atlanta's most revered sports record is about to be broken?!
Smoltz: Well -- uh -- maybe you should talk to Huddy. He's pitching Tuesday, much more likely to have the record breaker hit off of him--
Reporter: /runs over to Huddy
Huddy: /gives Smoltz a dirty look
Smoltz: /smirks and runs for the bus
Reporter: TIM HUDSON HOW DOES IT FEEL--
Huddy: /holds up a hand
Huddy: I have prepared a statement.
Huddy: /pulls a piece of paper from his pocket
Huddy: /clears throat
Huddy: "No."
Reporters: /stare
Reporter: That's your statement?
Huddy: /nods
Huddy: /runs for the bus
Heap: /yawning
Reporter: Brian McCann!! What does it feel like to be taking part in this historic event??
Heap: /blinks
Heap: What?
Reporter: The home run record! Breaking!! Very possibly against YOUR TEAM!! You were just on the All-Star team with Bonds, HOW DOES THAT COMPLICATE THINGS?!
Reporter: /shoves microphone in his face
Heap: /looks around
Heap: Um. Is that a television camera?
Reporter: Yes! You're live on TV!!
Heap: /face goes red
Heap: Um, well, er
Frenchy: What he means to say that is he's very excited, but we still want to win! We don't want Bonds hitting any homers against us, nope! But we can still appreciate the gravity of this moment in history.
Reporter: /wipes tear
Reporter: That was beautiful! Are you the PR rep for the Braves?
Frenchy: I'm the rightfielder. But, yes. Please direct all questions to me.
Salty: /pops up behind Heap's shoulder, waving his arms toward the camera
Salty: OH MY GOD AM I ON TV???
Reporter: Er--yes.
Salty: HA!! SERIOUSLY?? HI MOM!! HI ASHLEY! CHECK IT OUT YOU GUYS I'M TOTALLY IN SAN FRANCISCO!! WHAT TIME IS IT THERE?? OK I'LL CALL YOU BYE!!
Reporter: /awkward silence
Heap and Frenchy: /run for the bus
Reporter: /turns to camera
Reporter: Ha! Well, as you can see, even the bat boys are excited!
~~
I hate that Buddy will probably pitch the last game of this series. I like him, and I don't want him to remembered as the guy who gave up 756 or what have you.
Thanks to Leah for the picture of Heap wearing his glasses. I'll treasure it always.
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comments
Comments
So Heap where's contacts in the game?
by Chipper on Jul 23, 2007 10:11 AM EDT 0 recs
yep
by Velcro Vernacular on
Jul 23, 2007 10:19 AM EDT
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Funny stuff.
Hilarious as usual though. Gotta love Braves humor in the morning.
by mccannfan on Jul 23, 2007 10:22 AM EDT 0 recs
thanks to Riki, then
by Velcro Vernacular on
Jul 23, 2007 10:32 AM EDT
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haha.
by mccannfan on
Jul 23, 2007 1:29 PM EDT
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I want
by Chipper on Jul 23, 2007 10:50 AM EDT 0 recs
V.V.
I am increasingly concerned that we will look back on this season and see that the only bright spot will have been your pieces in this blog.
by Mike de La Hoz on Jul 23, 2007 1:14 PM EDT 0 recs
aww
I feel a little defeated right now, too, with the games it seems like we should have won at home, but God, I don't know. If the Cardinals can win 83 games and then the World Series without spectacular starting pitching, anything can happen. Not that I wouldn't prefer a World Series win after a good season . . .
by Velcro Vernacular on
Jul 23, 2007 5:41 PM EDT
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The other bright spots
by Chipper on Jul 23, 2007 1:33 PM EDT 0 recs
Don't worry about Atlanta...
the marlins have this guy, that apparently bonds loves to abuse like an adopted red-headed step-child. i'm talking about the guy that gave up #715 to bulging barry, and someone who is notorious for giving up historic home runs, and that is byung-hyun kim.
since scott olsen is such a loose cannon and will probably look at some suspension time, there's a good chance the marlins rotation might be thrown off kilter, and leave poor kim to have to face bonds. so even if the braves give up 754 and 755, there's a good possibility that kim will be who 756 will be on.
by royhobbs on Jul 23, 2007 4:20 PM EDT 0 recs
Awwww...
by Lauren T. on Jul 23, 2007 9:23 PM EDT 0 recs
yep
by Velcro Vernacular on
Jul 24, 2007 9:40 AM EDT
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haha
-haha. great.
and the glasses pic. def got a squeal-aww moment outta me.
[not that it really takes alot but ya know]
by IrishPrincess on Jul 23, 2007 10:17 PM EDT 0 recs
I know right
by Velcro Vernacular on
Jul 24, 2007 9:46 AM EDT
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def.
with his crazy hair sticking up in a thousand different directions...
or even him talking about taking a nap before games.
and i just die in a fit of giggles!
which of course puts me in the line of fire of glares from the men in my house.
they just dont understand...
by IrishPrincess on
Jul 24, 2007 1:49 PM EDT
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Napping
by Lauren T. on
Jul 24, 2007 8:51 PM EDT
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You know...
by Rain Delay on Jul 23, 2007 10:35 PM EDT 0 recs
haa
by Velcro Vernacular on
Jul 24, 2007 9:40 AM EDT
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Well...
by Rain Delay on
Jul 24, 2007 10:52 AM EDT
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nice
by teahen24 on Jul 23, 2007 11:28 PM EDT 0 recs
Salty is comic gold
by Velcro Vernacular on
Jul 24, 2007 9:42 AM EDT
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fangirl moment in 5...4...3...2...1
Salty: HA!! SERIOUSLY?? HI MOM!! HI ASHLEY! CHECK IT OUT YOU GUYS I'M TOTALLY IN SAN FRANCISCO!! WHAT TIME IS IT THERE?? OK I'LL CALL YOU BYE!!
Reporter: /awkward silence
Heap and Frenchy: /run for the bus
Reporter: /turns to camera
Reporter: Ha! Well, as you can see, even the bat boys are excited!
def. gold, all around.
by thormanDOE on Jul 24, 2007 5:09 AM EDT 0 recs
thanks, ha
by Velcro Vernacular on
Jul 24, 2007 9:44 AM EDT
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dude,
do you have pictures of THAT? O_O
by thormanDOE on
Jul 24, 2007 6:51 PM EDT
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..it looks
by Rain Delay on
Jul 24, 2007 8:35 PM EDT
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Make sure all the rookies are there!
by Chipper on
Jul 24, 2007 9:32 PM EDT
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Also, make one of them a teacher's pet!
by Chipper on
Jul 24, 2007 9:33 PM EDT
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hmmm
by Velcro Vernacular on
Jul 24, 2007 10:03 PM EDT
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Just doin my job ma'am ;)
by Rain Delay on
Jul 24, 2007 9:35 PM EDT
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No problemo..
by Rain Delay on
Jul 25, 2007 2:47 AM EDT
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oh no kidding
by Velcro Vernacular on
Jul 25, 2007 10:15 AM EDT
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yeah..
I almost want to say it was around the 9th inning. With the Braves at bat? Or maybe even in extras...boy talk about being vague. lol
by Rain Delay on
Jul 25, 2007 12:25 PM EDT
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oh I saw it
by Velcro Vernacular on
Jul 25, 2007 2:51 PM EDT
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Okey Dokey?
by Chipper on
Jul 25, 2007 7:50 PM EDT
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Hey....
by Rain Delay on
Jul 25, 2007 10:11 PM EDT
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Yeah
by Chipper on
Jul 26, 2007 12:58 PM EDT
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thanks!
by thormanDOE on Jul 24, 2007 8:00 PM EDT 0 recs








